Experience

EurekaFacts

• United States
• Market Research
• 1 - 100 Employee

• Professional Produce Therapist

  • Jan 1985 - Present

  All apples, all the time. At Ducktailed Dandy's, we're clinically obsessed with apples, and we want the world to know about it. Take my position, for instance. The company actually pays me to sit with all of our apples and evaluate their state of mind before they're authorized to be used in any of Ducktailed Dandy's delicious apple products. I literally plop an apple down on the couch in my office, and probe that poor produce's psyche until we get to the root of any emotional trauma it may have yet to work out. We make our apples look inward, examine themselves, and come to terms with the fruit they really are, deep down. And then we smoosh them into applesauce. Show less